


Black Hole

by christinebeckel



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7419604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinebeckel/pseuds/christinebeckel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a poem I wrote right after 307, and if you can't tell by the title, it's a little dark. It's how I imagine Clarke must have felt in the wake of Lexa's death. We all know that Clarke is pure and good and full of light. But, when everything you dare to love ends up dying, I imagine you might start to blame yourself for the pain and suffering that seems to follow you. So (because Clarke is always apologizing for things that aren't her fault) this is Clarke's apology to Lexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Hole

Black Hole

They call me Wanheda, Commander of Death  
But we both know that name’s a lie.  
If I had that power, there’s no way in Hell  
I’d be sitting here watching you die.

I’m not the Commander, but Bringer of Death.  
I’m his mistress. I am his slave.  
And I fear it's my fate to go on breathing  
As I carry you down to the grave.

I was born to shed tears. I was purposed for pain.  
Made for loneliness. Made to be hollow.  
Pre-selected by Death. I’m at his command  
And wherever he leads I must follow.

And Death’s my companion everywhere that I go  
A dark shadow that I cannot shake.  
I’m chained to his side. And he’s chained to mine.  
It's a fetter that I cannot break.

Still I strive every day to be good, wise and just.  
I seek peace but I only cause war.  
Any good that’s in me is eclipsed by my sins.  
To save one life I take countless more.

And I pulled the lever. I squeezed the trigger.  
I set the fire and I held the knife.  
But I’m dying inside. It pierces my soul  
Every time that I take a life.

But the worst part of me is the hope deep inside  
That keeps living while everyone dies.  
That says maybe someday my soul will find peace  
When Death is for once satisfied. 

Because I’m drawn to beauty. I’m drawn to love.  
It’s a magnetic pull I can’t fight.  
Though I know all too well that the darkness in me  
Can’t coexist with the light.

So don’t lend me your heart. Don’t give me your hand.  
Because I want you so bad that I ache.  
But I’m dangerous, my Dear. I’ll tear you apart.  
Every heart that I cradle, I break.

Don’t give me your laughter. Don’t give me your smile.  
Though I crave them right down to my core.  
My love’s a curse. I’m not good. I’m not safe.  
And you, Love, deserve so much more.

So don’t look at me like I’m part of your heavens.  
I’m no sun. I’m no star. I’m no moon.  
The truth is, my Dear, I’m a walking black hole  
And all that I love I consume.

Flee far from my reach. Keep your sweet skin from my touch.  
My flesh is fire and your flesh is coal.  
Everything I caress only withers and dies.  
My Love, I’m a walking black hole. 

Don’t pledge your fealty. Don’t offer your life.  
Please don’t undress your beautiful soul.  
I’ll cave. I’ll give in. Then I’ll swallow your light.  
My Love, I’m a walking black hole.

And these warnings I give you, I speak far too late  
And I only have myself to blame.  
For choosing to have just one moment of joy  
In exchange for a lifetime of pain.

So when you gave me your all, I gave you mine.  
And though I never once gave the command,  
Death found us my Dear, just as I’d feared  
And he tore you right out of my hands.

So I’m sorry my Love, for pulling you in,  
Knowing all that I cling to I lose.  
But I’m selfish, my Love, and could I live countless lives,  
You’re always the one I would choose.

You were Kindness, my Dear. Courage, Strength, Peace, and Hope.  
You were everything I long to be.  
You were Beauty, my Love. You were Life. You were Light.  
You were everything I’ll never be.

For I’ve become Death. Destroyer of worlds.  
I am tears. I am flesh. I am soul.  
I’m a curse. I’m a plague. I’m a beating, dead heart.  
I’m a tomb. I’m a walking black hole.  
I am Darkness. I’m Pain. I am cold empty space.  
I am tears. I am flesh. I am soul.  
I am Despair. I’m a flame flickered out.  
I’m a tomb, I’m a walking black hole.


End file.
